Dan Waintrup: Speaker, Author, former Tennis Pro

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Waintrup's Rules Of Winning - May 2006.

Sometimes You Just Have to Let It Go

I recently played a match in a club tournament when my opponent showed up to play more than 30 minutes late. When he finally walked through the door I was furious. I remember I was on a very tight schedule that day. I had set up an extremely important business meeting after the match. My opponent and I had mutually agreed to play at a specific hour, one that I thought would give me plenty of time, win or lose, to finish the match and make my meeting.

I was literally seething when he finally appeared. While I didn't want to default the guy because he was an acquaintance of mine, and this was just supposed to be a "friendly" club tournament, I knew I had every right to in light of his extreme tardiness.

"What time did we agree to play the match, Jeff?" I asked through clenched teeth as he sauntered over to the tournament desk.

"Ahh, I don't know. What did we say, 9:30? What time is it now?" he asked nonchalantly.

"It's 10:15. I think you're a little late, buddy," I replied, hoping he wouldn't miss the sarcastic nature of my response.

"Yeah, sorry man. I had a previous appointment," he said. "You know how it is."

"No, actually, I don't 'know how it is.' Couldn't you at least have had the courtesy to call and let me know?" I responded, the anger in my voice starting to rise.

"Hey, what can you do... Left the cell phone at home... Just one of those things I guess... Sometimes I'm just so forgetful."

"Or just an inconsiderate jerk."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, 'buddy.'"

"Look, Dan, lighten up. What court are we on anyway?"

"The match was suppose to start on court two 45 minutes ago!"

"Look, I don't have to apologize to you or anyone else," he said. "Do you want to play or not?"

"I'm not sure I want to play you, Jeff. Maybe I should default you — then maybe you'd learn a little respect and how to be on time!"

We were really starting to get into it. All the matches in the "friendly" club tournament had stopped, the players mesmerized by the two screaming lunatics we had both become.

I have never considered myself a violent person, but I seriously thought I might take a swing at this guy. And yet, even as we stood toe to toe on the side of the tennis court, shouting expletives and gesturing wildly at each other, I suddenly realized that I had some decisions to make. I was certainly within my rights to default my tardy companion, although I wondered if it would be really worth making a lifelong enemy of someone whom I had previously thought to be a good guy and excellent business contact. Or, we could play the match with both of us insanely angry at each other and barely speaking — yet I wondered how much fun it would be to spend the next two hours of my life arguing every close line call and worrying that my opponent wouldn't hesitate to nail me with one of his overheads if he got the chance.

As I was about to choose between these two limited options, I suddenly had a moment of true enlightenment. I realized there was another way I could play it.

I could settle our dispute. I could get past all the negative bullshit and hard feelings I had towards Jeff and go out and play some tennis and have a good time.

My friends might start calling me Gandhi, but I figured it was worth a shot.

"Look, Jeff, I'm sorry," I said. "I got a little carried away. I've got this huge business meeting later and I guess I'm just a little stressed out."

"No, no. It's my fault, you're right. I could have called. I've always had a problem being on time," he said. "It drives my wife crazy."

"You know what? Let's forget about it. Let's go out and play the match and have some fun. God knows I need the exercise."

"You're not kidding, man! I think I've gained 10 pounds in the last month alone. Let's go for it!"

We shook hands and went out and had one of the most enjoyable, exciting, competitive matches that I've ever played. We both had such a great time that after I won the match in a tiebreaker in the third set, we both agreed to get together in the future and play again.

Driving to my business meeting after we had finished, it occurred to me how often tennis and life intersect. The principles that you need to follow to be successful on the court are no different from those that you need to succeed in the real world.

By letting go of the animosity, contempt, and negative feelings my opponent and I had previously had for each other, we were able to thoroughly enjoy playing the game we both love at our highest competitive level. To be successful on a tennis court and in your life, you have to be able to learn from and move beyond the problems, conflicts, and "bad shots" you may have had in the past. You have to approach the future with a determined, positive frame of mind that gives you the best chance of excelling in life, achieving goals, and "winning the match."

Want more of Dan’s life lessons on and off the tennis court?
As seen in The New York Review of Books and on national TV!!! Dan’s humorous memoir, It’s Not My Fault — or — Can a Rabbi’s Son Find Happiness as a Tennis Pro?, is teeming with laugh-out-loud stories, priceless one-liners, and comical anecdotes from his country club teaching experiences and reckless forays through life!

Get an inside look into the secret life of a country club Tennis Pro (come on… you know you’re curious!!!)
Experience Dan’s many hilarious encounters with his eccentric (and filthy rich) clients!
Strengthen your forehand, backhand, volley, and serve with the many tennis tips Dan provides throughout the book!
Laugh so hard you'll split your tennis shorts!
And that’s just the beginning!

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To read a hilarious excerpt, please click here http://www.danwaintrup.com/intro.html

“If you are Jewish you will love this book. If you play tennis (or wish you could play tennis) you will love this book. If you’re not Jewish and don’t play tennis, welcome to a world that will keep you smiling from the Table of Contents to the Epilogue.”

Jeff Bukantz, Captain of the 2004 US Olympic Fencing Team

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